Online Job Sites

I signed up to a recruitment site recently. You know, you give them your details, tell them what sort of job you’re looking for and they send you details of suitable jobs. Well, that’s the way it is supposed to work.

The way it actually works is that they send me totally unsuitable jobs. There are plenty of jobs for HGV drivers in Walsall. The only trouble is that I don’t have an HGV licence and I live at the other end of the country. Nearer to home, there are plenty of jobs for financial analysts, but I’m not a financial analyst.

More bizarrely, they sent me details of a job as a DJ for a gay, black radio station – or, rather, I imagine they mean a radio station for gay black people. Do they know something I don’t? As far as I am aware, I’m white and heterosexual and, with some exceptions, my favourite music isn’t much more recent than Handel.

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The Mysteries of Spam

One of the abiding mysteries of spam is just how incompetent much of it is. Here is a splendid example which I rescued from my spam folder:

Greatings my sweetheart!You are disturbed by administration of sites of acquaintances.You are the member of this group.One of our members interested in you and we send you the message delivered from MemberName=‰MiraOldy‰This WOMAN wishes to get acquainted with you.There is HER message:Greetings the stranger, are Written by me to you from the big country of Russia, I have read your profile,and you are interesting for me, I see you as a pleasant interlocutor,I wish to get acquainted with you better and to exchange photos and not only.I will be very glad if our relations do not stop on that that we will communicate only on correspondence,I‚ll be glad to meet you one day.I will tell a little bit about myself:I‚m very nice, sociable and cheerful girl.I‚m 27 years old, growth 169, my eyes are brown, hair dark, weight of48 kg, a sports constitution. I regularly visit fitness the centre to support the figure both to be in shape and to like men.If you are self-assured and trust that can deserve my attention that write)) we will look that will turn out∑∑∑∑)Mira.



A few years ago, I’d have suspected that this was a machine translation, but I don’t think there is a translation engine out there which would make such a hash of things. Certainly Google’s translation software would have made a much better job of it. I can only assume that there is somebody out there with a very exaggerated idea of his or her command of the English language.

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